Brittle Brodie

Brodie Croyle is injured and out for the season... AGAIN. If I'm not mistaken, this was his first game back after being injured the first game of the season. I know this breaking news does not come as a surprise to most because A.) this kind of injury-prone madness has been happening to Brodie since high school and B.) this shit happened last Sunday and I know I am a week behind on blogging about the injury. The reason for said delay is all the man hours I have put in trying to figure out, for the good of mankind, the puzzling question as to why Brodie has toothpick-like ligaments and tendons. After countless hours of picking Dr. James Andrews' brain, endless nights pouring over medical journals, and several trips out to the Big Oak Ranch to speak with Papa Croyle (as he likes to be called by all the kids at the ranch), I have come to the conclusion that Brodie's injuries are all due to The Wheelchair Jinx. Many might be asking, What in the hell is The Wheelchair Jinx. Well, my friends, The Wheelchair Jinx is a lot like the Madden Football video game cover jinx. Here is the explanation for those of you who have been living in a cave the last few years. John Madden and EA Sports put out a video game every year and inevitably the person who is chosen to be on the cover suffers a season altering injury. Now with that little tidbit of information, it is time to get back to the Wheelchair Jinx.
I have always had this superstition that if someone uses the aid of crutches and/or a wheelchair when not hurt that said person will, in time, definitely need the aid of those apparatuses tenfold. Remember that as a part of my due diligence I interviewed Papa Croyle. I will explain now the costly decision made by his family that I believe altered the football career of a cannon-armed phenom and sent his life into a downward spiral of pain and countless hours of rehabilitation.

During one interview with Papa Croyle he informed me that back when little Brodie was around six Big Wheels were in style. He said all the kids in the neighborhood would ride their Big Wheels around and that if you didn't have a Big Wheel you weren't shit. Around this same time Papa Croyle stated that his father, Brodie's grandfather, passed away after a long fight with cancer. Papa Croyle, now fighting back tears thinking about his father, said that Brodie used to beg him for a Big Wheel daily. Papa said that times were hard back then and money was tight. He also said that with the passing of grandpa the family had an unused wheelchair laying around. Then to my dismay, Papa spelled out the day he gave little Brodie grandpa's wheelchair in place of the expensive Big Wheel. He said Brodie rode that wheelchair cutting donuts and tearing up neighbor's yards until the tires gave out. I knew as soon as I heard this family story that I had found the holy grail for Brodie's sports woes. Let this be a lesson to all you out there, beware of the Wheelchair Jinx.

As a side note: The Kansas City Chiefs should really let Brodie go because this jinx has a lifetime longevity. Also, no one should ever be dumb enough to start Mr. Jinx on a fantasy roster from here on out. You've been warned.


Actual footage of little Brodie tearing it up back in the day...