3 vs 2 = you decide

National Corn Hole Association

It is funny how an all out email war of the worlds can start up from one innocent forward. A little background first: While at the tailgate for the Auburn/LSU game a few weeks ago a game of corn hole broke out. Thankfully I was teamed up with a partner that was pounding the hole like Ron Jeremy. I mean this guy couldn't miss; He was knocking down three point shots one after another. After a few throws the opposing team informed us that the official ( or their BS rules because they were losing) rules stated that bags in the hole were worth two points and on the board were worth one. Well I, being one who loves to play competitive drinking games, usually can spout off the rules for any beer gut match, so I was pretty sure they were pulling shenanigans on us. Since it was early in the day and I hadn't had a lot to drink, I let them make up the rules on the fly without much opposition. I figured I was correct about the two verses three discrepancy, but I told them that I may be mistaken since it was early in the day. Of course, with the changing of the rules and then subtracting most of the points we had earned prior to the dispute we ended up losing by one.
Now getting back to the email that brought all of this back to my memory. One of the guys we were playing against that day in Auburn sends a forward to my work address with an arcade-type corn hole game attached for us to "practice" our skills on. After several minutes of working for the man I decide I have earned the right to have a little fun. I convince myself that even while working , I should find time to better myself in the competitive drinking/gaming world if I want to be the best. I eagerly click on the link and it takes me to ESPN's site. As I am scanning the directions on how to aim the corn bag with the mouse, I notice the scoring rules clearly mention that three points are awarded for bags going in the hole and one point for bags on the board. After seeing this, I'm fucking pissed. I knew we won that game and that those douche bags changed the rules. So after I calmed down, I sent out an email informing them that I was correct about the scoring system. Please read and decide how this scoring issue should be resolved:

1) Initial e-mail from Sam
Sam wrote:
> some of ya'll need the work...
>
>
> http://arcade.espn.go.com/corn-hole.htm


2) My e-mail after reading the instructions and finding out I was correct about the scoring:

Hey Gabe and Sam,

3 points for in the hole and 1 for on the board. I knew I was right you amateurs.


3) One of their goon's responses to my last email:

I have played with mid-west yankees and they play two points in the hole. Ole Miss folks, too. And Wisonsin. Since when did ESPN become an authority? They are probably trying to sell "game day" corn hole games where the hole is corso's mouth.

4) And then Gabe's response:

I like 2 points better, 3 seems like too many. Auburn rules.


5) Now I'm starting to get pissed because I take this crap seriously . My response to the last two goons' opinions.

I equate on the board with a field goal in football. You were close to scoring but didn't come away with the big points. Therefore, in the hole is a touchdown and an extra point. Do two field goes equal a touchdown and an extra point? I think not. I rest my case. You have got to have a better supporting argument other then "I just like scoring in the hole as two points because my retarded ass throws like a girl and I can't get it in the hole"

Casey

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

6) Gabe's reply:

touchdown is 6 points and worth twice as much as a field goal. so 2 points for in the hole and 1 point for on the board. twice as much, not three times as much.

I'm surprised that Casey wants 3:1 scoring since I wasn't aware Bammers could count in multiples of 3. What with their fuzzy math and all.

7) Here is my reply after that last comment made my ears start to heat up:

Gabe, I kind of figured you wouldn't understand the touchdown and extra point analogy seeing as how auburn has had a hard time finding the end zone and when they do find it, they miss the extra point.

Casey

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Now please vote or comment on 2 vs 3...